Once I moved out of my home in Bengal and I started working, I realized I had to be sorry about so many things every day! From wearing bright colors on my lips to traveling- I had to be sorry about everything to the society. It’s not just an issue that women between aged 20-30 only face.
I have myself witnessed how a single mother in my locality got judged for being well-groomed and stylish; aunties whisper among themselves – ” look at her! she is divorced, has a child, yet look at how she dresses up and wears red lipstick“. We need to stop being sorry about things that we like to do and for who we are. End of the day it’s our choice and it’s one life that we get.
- Being married means you got to put on weight and drape yourself in suits and sarees. DON’T APOLOGISE FOR WEARING WHAT YOU LIKE TO WEAR. I know women who love wearing western formals to work but have given it all up due to pressure from her own family sometimes. Marriage does not mean we need to look a specific way. We are just being part of a new family and vice-versa.
- DON”T BE SORRY FOR BEING SINGLE. We apologize to our relatives when they ask us to marry the guys they suggest. Why say sorry? why not a logical explanation work? If they don’t understand why you don’t want to marry or marry later, it is their problem.
- DON’T BE SORRY FOR BEING FAT or SKINNY. Being healthy is important. It is important to be motivated and try to stay fit but then there is the body-shaming crowd who make you feel sorry for yourself and stress you out so much that you end up picking yet another doughnut or starving yourself. Healthy motivation will actually make you want to eat or workout. And no matter what, don’t be sorry for the body you have. You want to work out, eat or do whatever- it is going to be your decision and choice.
- DON’T BE SORRY FOR BEING A FITNESS FREAK AFTER A CERTAIN AGE. I have heard this often – “Don’t go to the gym. later you won’t be able to continue”. I expect encouraging words when I am hitting the gym and why is it expected out of me that I’ll stop working out someday? I have also heard how women judge other fit mommies – ” isko toh gym bhi karna hai!” It’s okay. You’ve become a mother doesn’t mean you can’t wear your racerback and yoga pants and lift some weights.
- DON”T BE SORRY FOR BEING A 50-year-old WHO LOVES WEARING COLORS. Old age means you should stop going out for movies, stop wearing bright colored clothes etc etc.. So many rules! But where did they come from? Who made them? We don’t know them! Even if we knew them, so what! Let’s carry on with our love for colors.
- DON’T BE SORRY FOR HAVING AN OPINION. During office meetings when women have an opinion, we often experience mansplaining. To avoid that crap and set forward our opinion, we end up starting a sentence with “I’m sorry but I have a different view..” Why Sorry? Why do we have to be sorry? Honestly even I end up saying this and this has to stop.
I am still growing and these are just a few points that I have experienced and seen women around me experiencing. There are many more such instances which may be I can pen down later.
Let’s stop being sorry for things that don’t need a sorry. Let’s be sorry for things that really need one. You had an ugly fight with a partner, you were at fault, did you realize it really? Go ahead and say sorry. Did you yell at someone at work for no reason just because you had a bad day? Go ahead and say sorry.
Let’s live more real lives, be more ourselves, let’s love ourselves a bit more. This is the only way our lives can be beautiful and things be more transparent with our loved ones.