FYI, this one’s more like a rant.
I always wanted to be a journalist. Watching women on TV with mics in their hand with something happening on the background was a thrilling position to be for me. I wanted to be that woman always. Then I grew a bit and realized I love writing poems. Then I learnt something called beauty blogging happens. Started writing product reviews. I was a college student and for 100 bucks I would hound my mom’s cupboard for a product that hasn’t been reviewed in the site yet. It wasn’t about the money but the thrill of earning my own money and seeing my writing up there. I got my dream writing job and I started my writing career. Slowly my mind opened up to new ideas which I didn’t know existed back in my home town in Bengal. Ideals like patriarchy, feminism etc; like I didn’t even hear these terms before.
Then with life experiences I learnt the importance of these terms and they became part of my daily discussions and debates. I always wanted to own one blog- a beauty blog, a travel blog or so. I wanted to be one of those fancy Instagram bloggers. But then I realized I’ve got tons of shit to write about that are way bigger and important than my favorite lipstick.
But you know what it is very difficult to be a writer. You have to be “controlled” with your pen. It will go the honest path and write the way my motormouth would speak. But I cannot. Some find it loud, some shame me for opening my personal life and thoughts, some find it outrageous and then there is law to protect people from their deeds which is why writers like me cannot “expose them”.
This blog is not just an outlet for me. This is something that I wanted to do always just that I found a different side of me and its not about Korean face masks anymore. It is difficult to be a writer trust me, when you write with a soul and your honest standards don’t match the society’s.
Still no regrets. At least I haven’t given up.