It is no more about the “survival of the fittest”; it’s survival of anyone who fits in, rather blends in.
Coming from a small town, past 6 years I tried on different tips and tricks to blend in. One was of a girl who is new to a big city but pretends that she is aware of it all – how to use a debit card, using lifts or escalator. I never got to use escalators so often back in Bengal so yeah these small things made me nervous but I had to pretend that I am cool! Because you’re new and you want to blend in. I met nice people, very few of them were bullies and it didn’t matter but like any youngster I wanted to blend in.
I could write in English well and could speak okay. But the next phase was about a cool accent that I had to pick up so that people don’t figure out my “desi English” accent. You wanna talk like you were born watching Godfather! 8-10 hours everyday at work, I have followed a certain accent and then I let go!
When you meet work friends or friends of friends or friends of partner or brother, you have to maintain a certain body language and decorum. Lot of shit isn’t it?
So the social life here in India has gone through an epic mutation basically and to continue being social and to avoid being called a sociopath, you have to develop certain skill sets to blend in. People from the West are chill in their own zone while we Indian are taking our idea of aping the west to another level. I am not saying it is bad. It is good to be fluent in a global lingo like English, straightened sleek hair looks great and any day eating with fork and knife looks more sophisticated.
But I have two problems.
- End of the day I get exhausted. I am a girl who totally knew the meaning of the word “misogyny” and could write pages about it but didn’t know how to “pronounce” it. Of course I never heard anyone say it so I don’t know it. How often do people actually discuss about words like patriarchy, misogyny around us in real life? But not everyone will know of it and I will be a joke and trust me it is exhausting to google every words pronunciation before I open my mouth. It is not my mother tongue and it is okay if I am not aware of certain words or things that I have never got chance to experience.
- When you meet a person who is just being himself or herself and doesn’t give a fuck about what you think of them, please do not call them raw. I laugh my ass off when I meet a chill person and I hear people calling them raw. It’s normal guys!
So after lot of attempts to fit in I have started wearing my personality , the raw personality, out and aloud. Before someone laughs at me, I laugh at myself. I proudly wear my ethnicity and upbringing and I am more open to learning things. Also I am kicking asses of those who even try to bully me.
And once again, I am being real and not raw. Fruits and vegetables can be raw. Humans can only be real.