The trigger word to blog- The Guardian
I find it very amusing how Indian parents find relief in getting their daughters married to a “guardian”. The idea of partnership just doesn’t come to Indian parents naturally. It is always okay for a guy to go to work and sit on couch rest of the time while a daughter is trained to manage it all. They say men will be men and that’s why it’s okay for them to just work and come home only to “relax” while we do the running around. They are being the “guardians” or “providers” that way.
I have a tough time correcting my own parents that my partner is my “partner” and not a “guardian”. If I need a guardian, then so does he, right? A man, no matter what his maturity levels are, gets all the privilege and titles like “guardian”.
OMG! Like it is so annoying, isn’t it?
What’s more surprising is that parents who raised their daughters well and encourage them to work, find it sad when she “has to work” or when she takes equal responsibility of the household after marriage.
Like it’s a magic wand the guy has- he manages the household, takes care of a family of four, also saves for vacations and also for a home! Practically it is not possible.
Let’s raise our daughters and encourage them to work so that they are independent and responsible individuals and not because “so that she doesn’t have to ask for money from her husband”.
It is all about being partners
I think the word “partner” says it all. And I am never running around the kitchen while he sits on the table and my partner believes the same and that’s why we are together. Also once married, I think it’s a couple’s very personal business how they manage responsibilities and finances and it is not limited only to the “guardian” among the two. If we don’t practice equality this way within a household, what is the next generation going to learn from us? I would never want my daughter to wait for a “guardian” nor do I want my son to believe that women are supposed to get the food to the table just because he saw his mom do the same.
Men will be men doesn’t apply anymore. We all are humans with the same human behavior and all this crap is just passed on generation after generation. High time we correct ourselves to have a home that’s really empowering for all.